I would like to take a moment to remind each and every person who reads this, simply to appreciate what you have. Each and every one of us has lost something and I need you to recall that feeling – the desperate struggle to hold on to someone or something that just doesn’t fit anymore, that cruel emptiness that isn’t quite big enough to hurt but it does so regardless, and the agony when you are next reminded of that person or that time and every fibre of your being wishes you could be back there or with that person. Recall that feeling and recall the people that you have lost, and once you’ve done that, bring this quote to mind: ”
“Do not chase people. Be you and do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.”
– Wu Tang”
This is so relevant to everyone, in every stage of life, but especially to teenagers. Adolescence is a time of constant turmoil, of emotional development and a time of everything that was once comfortable and secure suddenly being contorted into binding chains or even a total void where our memories take place. As our friends grow and we grow, more often than not, people grow apart and so often people fight this with such gusto that for a moment they believe that the could hold on to the rapidly fraying ribbon that is the past, until all of a sudden all you hold in your grasp is a bundle of threads that will never again resemble that satin ribbon that was the beautiful memories of the past. Although that is rather more melancholy than I intended, do try to see the light in what I am saying.
If we hold on to the past all we do is carry extra weight on our shoulders — as if the burden of modern life is not enough! — and this prevents us from moving forward. Of course, everyone has heard this exact message one hundred times, but take it from someone that has spent far too long holding on to nothing. I know the feeling that you do, the lump in your throat when you think of them, the burn in your ribcage when you think of all the ways you could have ‘fixed it’ or ‘made it better’, the beat of your heart when you look back on the good times and then the crushing realization that all of it is gone. Trust me, I know it too. But I ask you to try something for me, even if for only one day.
Just let things go. Literally lie in your bed, first thing in the morning, and scrunch your hands into the tightest fists you can. Think of all the things that are hurting you, weighing you down, preventing you from feeling all the joy that you deserve, and with each thing you can name, tighten your grip. Hold it so tight that your hands hurt and when they hurt, tense up your whole body and just hold it all so tight until you simply cannot take it any longer. When you make this decision, let go. Only you can decide to let it go, and just do it! Relax everything, lie there and realize how ridiculous it was that you held on to nothing for so long, and just breathe. Breathe in the air and notice everything with the new, weightless shoulders that you gifted to yourself, look at things through new, sanguine eyes and that is all it takes.