Airports

I text you “baby I’m so tired, maybe I will go to bed” as 

the car hurtles down a six lane highway towards where 

you are, streetlights like stars on every side, galaxies 

forming around me with the promise of your smile.

 

I see my mothers phone, she’s texting someone too, with

the message “young love” that she ends with a smiley 

face that has two brackets and I smile from the passenger

seat because she sums up everything so aptly. The airport

in the distance is a mirage to me, I can barely believe that

it is there as it feels as if you’ve been gone forever. I feel

no shame in the cliché, but instead unlimited joy, I feel

butterflies turn to organ-eating moths that devour my stomach,

then my heart and eventually my esophagus, I am so excited

to see you that all my metaphors fall apart, I can hardly speak,

incomprehensible is my new middle name, I want to tell every

astronaut in every space craft we pass on this journey across

the universe that soon I will be in your arms. 

 

Suddenly we are here, entrance three, I kiss my mother goodbye

and jump across puddles and tears to a concrete haven that 

seems to speak your name with every clumsy step I take, air

does not seem natural to these alien lungs. I am meant to be 

on the moon inhaling neon, but my darling I come to earth 

for you, surrounded by strangers and the scent of aeroplanes

I stand by a metal railing and, for you, I wait.

 

I wait until I see your best friends’ father, he finds it humorous

that I am here, I see no other teenage girls standing amongst

the sea of parents but I place my best mask against my sleepy

features and converse with people, never moving my eyes from

a cheap television screen that plays an ever-looping stream of

faces, bodies and luggage trolleys coming through the arrivals 

gate.

 

I wait until my toes hurt in my shoes and I almost think that this 

was a bad idea, until my heart stops, I see a shirt I know is yours,

followed by dark hair that is immovable and cheekbones cloaked

in sleep deprivation and a longing for home, my heart stops. I wait

until I see a mop of curls high above the crowd that I know too 

well, a head that I know you will be behind. Slowly, the ocean of

travellers parts and I see your face, not jarred by a screen but 

just as exhausted as I expected and for a moment you do not see

me. Your parents appear from in front of me and hold you, I stare

in envy as your body bends around your mother, all the while I am

being hugged by my curly-haired friend but I feel as if I cannot 

blink in case you disappear, I have barely taken a breath.

 

I let go and I feel a void inside me, as I move across the long, 

narrow corridor that, to me, is entirely empty. I walk toward you, 

feigning confidence, as if I might just know what I’m doing and

then you look up at me and it is as if the world had stopped, even

my home moon had paused to watch, as you realize what is happening.

 

I don’t even see you move, I feel an unreal pressure on my chest as

you hold me against you, your arms doubled around me with your

face in my neck, I have to keep stepping backwards to stop from 

falling over as my knees start to give way with blissful happiness,

I have never felt such joy. It was as if your skin had given way and you

held me with your soul, never have I felt so complete, as if all the

stars I wished on came together and baby they made me you,

your whole body is stardust. I feel you breathe in to my shoulder,

with my hands tangled around your neck, your whole body vibrates,

darling you are the big bang whether I believe in it or not, if they

told me the universe was made of you I would believe it because

you are my gravity, darling my everything depends on you.

If everything was made of pieces of you it would be a more beautiful

place, how I wish it was, even if I do not want to share you with

anyone, baby share my world with me.

 

You bring my forehead to yours and you say to me, “I knew” 

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