When I am tired

Today, I found one thing to be true, 

and it is this: “love is what makes you

smile when you’re tired”, this is something

I believe because you told me. When it

it late, as it is now, I think of my family

lying in their beds sleeping calmly, a few

doors down yet worlds away and I know

that my sister is sleeping with our dog tonight

but I also know that she will get into my

mothers’ bed at some point in this darkness and

I cannot deny that the thought exhausts me

because my child sibling is a heat seeking

missile, she will attack that bed at a thousand

kilometres an hour and I smile for love is



I think of all the people I care for, splattered

around the world like fairy lights on a spherical

Christmas tree, their lights may be far from me

but I can see them and the fluttering in my

chest makes my heart want to split the seam

that holds the delicate bones of this ribcage

together so it can shout out to them: “I love you!”

and if it could, my heart would smile too.


Defining in a way that renders the question;

“do I love them” entirely pointless, when I am 

lying between white sheets, exhausted but

unable to sleep while every other creature

slumbers, I will think of you and the broken

world of sleeplessness and bleary eyes is 

pieced together, you exist in this moment

and for me that is enough, love.


So for now and for always, I will believe 

that love is what makes you smile when

you are tired.




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