Validation — A Work in Progress

Although I critique those around me for

admitting that they cannot choose when

they want to write, it is difficult to depend

on a talent that is so easily swayed and

flies like birds in the winter time, staying

gone for so very long until one morning

the frost lifts and all of a sudden the sunlight

streams onto unexpected limbs, once

again all is warm, but you remain stunted,

you can only grow so much in the short

resting hours of summer and when the snow

begins to fall once more, you are left

behind. Self discipline is not a factor, we

are not mathematicians who must practice

or painters who must work, we are the operator

of a badly-oiled and cog-heavy machine, each

individual piece is of no use on its own but must

run smoothly, gently, softly, with those next

door, but so not confuse us for people persons,

we comprehend the relationships between

words and the love between phrases but spend

little time pining, except when it brings about

lustful nights of twisting, writhing sentences onto

blank sheets and finally words untangle themselves

so we can once more experience our own emotions,

I do not feel unless I write it so you could say this

week has been morbid. But it isn’t so, the past

seven days have been perfectly wonderful with all

the highs and lows of the beautiful life that I have been

so blessed with, tell me again why I must verbalize in

order to feel – or am I just afraid? Must I place a barrier

between my emotions and myself so I have the time and

the option to feel nothing at all, no height of wall will

ever be tall enough to shield me from the joy that you

bring just when you appear around the corner, on my

phone screen or on my mind, do I need validation

from strangers on the internet that my affection for you

is warranted or that my sadness has sufficient justification

to be felt, no! I no longer need

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